What burns me now? Desire, desire, desire.
An interview with Lithuanian multidisciplinary artist Aurelija Bulaukaitė
little Grand spells, the solo exhibition of Lithuanian multidisciplinary artist Aurelija Bulaukaitė (1991), opened On May 10 at ASNI, the latest contemporary art gallery to open in Riga, Latvia. In this, the artist’s first exhibition in Riga, she presents a new series of five large-scale abstract paintings accompanied by sound specially created for this gallery space.
As we read in the intro of the show written by Karolina Sadlauskaite: ‘Aurelija Bulaukaite invites you to embody unlimited futures and delve into the enchanting collective and individual potential. Draw a card and grasp your destiny, even if thousands of people have watched that post. Listen to chimerical affirmations that vibrate to the farthest corners of your body and mind, and if you find yourself at an impasse, you may always resort to reiki, which miraculously pulls lost spirits back from the abyss.
‘You are the forger of your own destiny, and if you are yet to be one, artificial intelligence will deal you an answer.
‘Whether you’re snoozing or creating a fairy-tale dream, anything is possible, because this force is the infinite potential of the universe, captured on canvas, from which our most vivid visions are born.’
Highly intuitive and created with no pre-planning (meaning zero sketches), the paintings are a result of materialised energy captured on canvas in a form of rich, dense abstraction. Somewhat chaotic, but as Aurelija states herself, there’s a certain dose of beauty in each chaos.
Aurelija lives and works in Vilnius, Lithuania, and holds a bachelor’s degree in painting and a master’s degree in sculpture from the Vilnius Art Academy. Last year she took part in exhibitions held at two New York galleries: ...an instinct to change things... at the Trotter&Sholer gallery, and Maison Palo at Palo Gallery. Together with artist Gichang Choi, Aurelija is currently preparing for a group show initiated by the Sunblanket Foundation which will be held in Seoul in June (curated by Taeho Choi). As her works are considered rather unconventional, we decide to structure our interview similarly – it’s hard to tell if the answers came as replies to questions, or if the questions grew out of how Aurelija described her art practice… In any case, we were mesmerised by the strong rhythms of aural affirmations in the background, and a somewhat hypnotic state came over us.
As we went deeper into our conversation, Aurelija played from her phone the sound piece that accompanies her paintings. I must say that it greatly contributes to the perception of this exposition – the paintings come to life and, for a split second, an energy and another reality that are otherwise hidden from curious eyes become visible. It’s truly a spell. Or is it?
Your previous art projects include video, net-art, and digital performative acts on social media platforms. What was the initial idea behind them, and how did you transition to creating for your show at ASNI a painting series – a very different and rather traditional technique/medium?
I previously created installations and video artworks that incorporated performance elements. This led me to discover a persona, an alter ego, which eventually evolved into a two-year-long performance titled emerging influencer (2021–2023), in which I portrayed an influencer on social media.
My approach was reminiscent of the work of Amalia Ullman, an artist of Argentine-Spanish origin born in 1989. However, in my case, I aimed to emulate influencers, mocking and imitating other artists, celebrities, and influencers. Each post I made was meticulously replicated from the original, adopting the same style and content while presenting it as my own. I was pursuing expression, connection, and pleasure in all forms with my followers online, rather than perfection.
Photo documentation from the online performance ‘emerging influencer’ (2021–2023)
So the intriguing plastic surgery photo is from that same project?
Yes, that occurred following Emily Ratajkowski’s podcast (Emrata) discussing sexuality, plastic surgery, gender issues, and feminist concepts. I transcribed the entire podcast, presenting it as my own post and effectively creating a mockumentary of my life. I feigned social media awkwardness and portrayed myself as struggling with various mental health issues.
Ironically, during that time I pretended to undergo plastic surgery, yet funnily enough, one year later I'm undergoing the procedure in real life.
Photo by Vismante Ruzgaite (@nona stopped cinema), 2024
Are you planning to post anything about it?
I’ve cut back a lot on posting because I felt I was oversharing. I immersed myself in studying social media, even considering a PhD in social media history given its impact on our culture. The ever-evolving nature of social media, from post-internet art to the Tumblr era and beyond, inspired my previous solo show, In My ???Era (2023, Medūza, Vilnius).
The mockumentary performance was intense; many didn’t realise I was portraying a character, blurring the lines between my personal and public lives. Dealing with swift follow-unfollow cycles on Instagram and questioning if people would accept the real me took a toll. It fueled my journey as an artist as I aimed to avoid being overwhelmed by external opinions. You have to be careful who you let experience you.
On the other hand, I felt that my presence, ambition, and timing online were purposeful. This initiated a new internal process that led to the creation of the concept for little Grand spells.
“external validation yet I deserve to be my biggest fan”, 2024, oil on canvas, 200x160 cm. Photo by Kristine Madjare
Is that what we see in these paintings? Does your artwork grow out of a very personal inner space and experience?
I draw inspiration from my personal experiences, and these abstract paintings are a reflection of that. They capture my energy at specific moments, influenced by affirmations and the manifestation process.
I was actively shaping a new persona in the physical world. This aligns with New Age spirituality principles, where beliefs manifest reality. Embracing this new self-concept, I was invited to New York for Residency Unlimited. There, I reconnected with my spiritual roots and unleashed my inner kundalini. I was micromanaging my own destiny. I love the quote from Kitty Knorr’s book, God is Witch: A Collection of Poetry: ‘Desire is a prayer; I feel most alive when I want something.’
You reference spiritual topics and the potency of the universe quite a lot – do you practice any of these yourself in everyday life?
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve always had a strong spiritual inclination, which is reflected in my artwork. However, later on, I came to discern between traditional spirituality and New Age spirituality. My focus remained on striving to become the best version of myself. I delved into practices like kundalini yoga, meditation, and manifestation. Affirmations became a significant aspect of my life – a ritual. Drawing from my past experiences, I engaged in manifestation consistently for years, envisioning living in New York and collaborating with desired people, galleries, etc. I always had a clear vision of where I wanted to be, and it all materialised. Manifestation, for me, is a daily practice.
Another aspect of manifestation and various self-development methods is their presence in the digital forms. Being deeply involved in social media platforms like TikTok, I’ve observed a plethora of techniques and practices, such as online reiki healing sessions. Initially, I experienced reiki healing in person with a practitioner, but later found myself watching similar sessions on TikTok. Whenever I felt down, these videos featuring mystical healing movements provided comfort. I believe these movements and experiences are echoed in my paintings, serving as reflections of my journey and insights.
Another significant aspect is the prevalence of hypnosis on social media, which is intertwined with the practice of manifestation. Various courses aim to guide individuals into a manifestation state and cleanse their energy through hypnosis. Platforms like TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram host live streams where users are hypnotised. I’ve personally explored this phenomenon as well.
Nowadays, an abundance of these hypnosis sessions is available online. In contrast, back in the 1960s, this trend was part of the broader New Age movement. I believe it all started with Jane Roberts’ Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul, which was one of the first guides to unlocking human potential. It emphasised that nothing exists outside of your consciousness.
You mentioned New Age spirituality, which includes Eastern mysticism, the esoteric, meditation, the power of self-belief, and much more. Neville Goddard, considered the grandfather of mental science as well as a writer and mystic, had a technique that proved the power of the subconscious mind and the role of imagination in manifesting reality. It is called the ladder technique and utilises visualisation and affirmation to align one’s thoughts and beliefs with one’s desired reality.
He highlights imagination as the source of all manifestations, claiming that all information comes from within and that persistent imagination is the key to success. Goddard delves into achieving this state using quantum physics, which resonated with my interest in the scientific aspects of manifestation. My beloved grandparents were scientists, and that’s likely where my interest in quantum physics comes from. They were very special to me when I was growing up, and used to say that God gave you a dream for a reason. It’s not just about daydreaming, though that is the best part of the process [laughs].
One effective method involves listening to specific affirmations before sleep and visualising them while entering the alpha, delta, and theta brainwave states. This process ingrains the ideas into your subconscious, fostering belief and creating a new reality. You must also visualise the desired outcome as if it has already occurred.
Nowadays it seems it’s become a trend – affirmations, meditation...it often feels like people are ‘manifesting’ just for the sake of manifesting.
People often manifest for misguided reasons. Initially, I browsed YouTube and Tiktok without much critical thought, but over time, I became deeply involved in the platforms. The algorithms proved remarkably effective, inundating me with content tailored to a few keywords or my search history. I became obsessed and struggled to maintain a critical perspective, pouring a lot of self-belief into it. Online advice proved to be unreliable.
Despite this, I still enjoy drawing a daily tarot card and remain passionate about astrology, human design, and The Pattern.
Oh, I have to admit I do that, too!
I’m sure that’s going to help you write this article [laughs].
In the photo on the exhibition poster for little Grand spells, are you giving us a small hint? Does this character, immortalised in a delicate luxury environment, practice any rituals on a daily basis?
With little Grand spells, it goes like this – in order for it to work, you have to make it an addiction in your real life – it has to become an everyday thing.
I created this poster as a reference to modern spiritual practices that often promote this low frequency and vibration, materialism. If you look closely, the character is actually holding a rolled-up euro bill in her hand, and the plate right there on the tabletop is a reference to doing cocaine.
Poster photo by Saule Gerikaite, 2024
For you, is the whole process of painting a daily ritual, an addiction, or a kind of affirmation? Or is it more of a performative act, as painting is a quite physical act in itself?
Painting holds a sacred place in my life; it is like a ceremony, which is why I abstain from painting while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Art is a fundamental thing for us to observe, to see, to find out, to understand. A guest at the opening of little Grand spells said a memorable phrase about one of my artworks: ‘...a complicated way to harmony.’ Painting is dear to me as it stabilises my spirit. It might come as a shock to some, but I maintain pragmatism and discipline in my everyday life; I am aware that the frequencies we send out into reality eventually materialise. Therefore, I am very careful with what I project, knowing I have the gift to charge my work with intention. Painting allows me to release parts of my inner self in a more steady and controlled way.
An installation view from ‘little Grand spells’ at Galerija Asni. Photo by Kristine Madjare
I’ve read you never make sketches before you start painting. Is the painting process also very dependent on energy? Can you still remember how you felt when creating them?
It’s more of an intuitive act; they result from specific affirmations, as you can infer from their titles. I start at some point, and then let the process flow naturally.
I created five paintings specifically for this exhibition, and each one represents a different manifestation. My favorites are gifted to be addicted and external validation yet I deserve to be my biggest fan. These pieces pushed me out of my comfort zone. Manifestations of a supreme fantasy completed to perfection.
The one titled working on becoming increasingly comfortable being seen is quite messy, symbolising the need to be comfortable with being seen in an imperfect state.
The blueish one reflects my interest in astrology. With a specific Virgo placement in my chart, I experience difficulties in forming good relationships, often being nit-picky.
An installation view from ‘little Grand spells’ at Galerija Asni. Photo by Kristine Madjare
you can’t find me in someone else celebrates self-completeness. In all of these works, I’m trying to OWN IT.
Your artworks have quite interesting titles; if the mockumentary project was a completely staged performance, little Grand spells is the opposite – it’s like opening up your very inner being.
The titles of the paintings hold profound significance for me. They may appear abstract, yet their mysteries gradually unveil.
You play a lot with the potential of the medium of painting – it’s a classic and traditional medium, yet you present it in a modern way by depicting something rather abstract on one hand, but quite real on the other. We all know that there is energy around us, but we don’t see it. It also looks quite inspired by the digital meta-world.
I’ve ventured into hues that resonate with a synthetic, digital vibe, shunning the earthly tones. I start imperfectly, start over, then start again – continually. Perhaps, in time, I’ll gravitate toward them, but for now, the pull of my Libra moon leads me down this path.
The energy of the pieces and working with them is a quite sensitive thing. Are you aware of what is going to happen when someone decides to hang your artwork on a wall?
I would want to add a tag that says: ‘Can we skip to the rich part?’ to each completed painting. Just kidding. Time unveils the truth – simply gaze at the painting for as long as you can.
How important is it for you to be seen – in terms of showing your artwork and receiving feedback and comments? Is it important to you how the viewer perceives your artwork, or do you leave space for interpretation as well?
‘You like me? Thank you so much for liking me!’ – said Annie Hamilton in one of her Instagram posts. I suppose paintings should ask the viewer: ‘Where are you still not free?’, and then you receive the answer.
There is also a sound-piece installation planned for the show. Can you tell me a bit more about that? Did you perform it yourself?
Yes, there is also a sound in the show. I’ll play it from my phone right now. [As the sound starts playing, I notice a slight movement in Aurelija’s paintings. Listening closely, I hear a pleasant female voice chanting affirmations, such as, ‘I am a star’, ‘I shine bright naturally’, ‘All eyes are on me’, ‘I am appreciated for all that I do’, ‘I am fulfilled, I am shining…’ – Interviewer]
I extracted it from YouTube, then added and made some edits. There were countless options, but this one stood out and has become my favorite. It will be playing throughout the entire show.
Do you differentiate the abstract from fantasy? I’m asking because you create something that we all are aware of but have never actually seen in real life...
I’m still unsure whether I’m a hyperphantasian with a touch of aphantasia, or the reverse. These concepts were discussed on the ‘Do you visualise like I do?’ episode of David Eagleman’s podcast Inner Cosmos. I am still amused by it.
Talking about fantasies, there are the ones we construct and are unaware of when it comes to beauty, including topics such as body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), orthorexia, and other misconceptions surrounding wellness. That’s my new area of research, so I’m very excited to go to South Korea where an obsession with beauty and becoming a ‘babe’ is normalised.
Have all of these spiritual acts and practices helped you in any way? Perhaps they’ve answered some important life questions?
Being authentic and accepting yourself – it sounds so simple, yet it is so difficult to achieve since being authentic requires also accepting all of your dark sides. The more authentic you become, the more you achieve the goal of life.
Suffering is also a mental construct – suffering never disappears – so if you learn how to accept it, you also learn to accept yourself. You suffer only when you don’t accept your authentic self.
‘you can’t find me in someone else’, 2024, oil on canvas, 200x160 cm. Photo by Kristine Madjare
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The exhibition little Grand spells is on view until June 16 at ASNI Gallery, Kr. Valdemāra iela 17A, Riga, Latvia
Title image: Aurelija Bulaukaitė. Photo by Saule Gerikaite, 2024
